How to Live A Fulfilled Life
[ful·filled / satisfied or happy because of fully developing one's abilities or character.]
NOTE: This is going to be heavy for some of you and you might get offended but I promise that if you take this message to heart these thoughts can provoke a major change in your life AND your business. Look past the tactics and strategies for a moment. I’m not going to give you some sexy marketing tip. Instead, what I'm trying to do is help you ask yourself potent questions that perhaps can transform your trajectory.
This is gonna be the best article you’ve ever read in your life ‘cause it’s Chris (kicked Taylor out for a month ‘cause I wanted to offer some REAL value ;)
It’s a rainy Friday evening here in Charlotte NC. Sitting in my DREAM house in my DREAM city while the kids play legos (sleepover tonight with some of their friends)…
Wife is winding down from a busy day of homeschooling and running the kids all over town (we have 4 so it’s cray all day).
And I can’t help but to look back to the beginning of Traffic and Funnels, before all the other companies, before the thousands of clients on roster, before all the momentum and the hype… when Taylor and I were still “wet behind the ears” trying to help our little circle of clients.. and just get a big smile on my face.
It’s been a wild ride. I feel like we are winning on every level. Our families are happy & healthy. We are doing well financially & creating real wealth. We have an amazing team on this journey with us and we’re making a massive impact on hundreds of thousands of people’s lives.
“Yea yea cool Chris good for you why you saying this?”
The truth is, a lot of people (I think) read these articles and look at our lives and they can’t relate… so I want to show you what it was like getting here. Because it definitely wasn’t always like this…
Not many people know that years ago I almost lost my house.
I was moments away from getting foreclosed on. I remember getting the call from the lady at the attorneys office; “Mr. Evans?”
“Yes, this is Chris”
“Mr. Evans. We have a date for your foreclosure and it will be held August 16th.”
I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like a failure. Nobody would look at me now and ever see me as the father of 4 young kids, not sleeping, pacing around the kitchen because he was about to have to move his kids into a hotel or back in with his family because he hadn’t paid the mortgage…
But that was me…
How the heck do you go from “that guy.” To, 6 years later:
7-Figures in assets
$1,000,000 in monthly sales volume
Champion of people
Providing experiences for my kids I never got to have
My wife makes fun of me because she’s like “you don’t always have to tell people you’re a baller and you have money” lol… which is true. (But for real Taylor is way more flashy than I am – just look at his blonde highlights lolol)
But I think it’s important for you to know that however LOW someone falls, it just doesn’t matter. You can have more, be more, do more, and you can turn it all around if you have the right recipes…
What I’m about to share with you are some of those recipes…
Principles, and mindsets, I've discovered in growing from a person who was trying not to die to a person who is having an awesome impact on the world.
[I’ll tell you the rest of the story about my foreclosure at the end]
Which of the Three Modes Do You Live And Operate In Right Now?
I’ve traveled the world extensively and I’ve encountered many ways of life personally and in business. As a result I believe that most humans operate in 3 Modes.
My goal here is to help you get clarity on where you are in your life and business and figure where you want to go.
One of my most powerful discoveries and the part of my journey that is really changing is the power of self-awareness. This is something Taylor is really good at. Me? Not so much. lol
I think most people have very little self-awareness.
If you feel aimless, constantly running out of energy or not sure what to do next I want you to grab a pen and paper and take notes and journal about this. If you take this seriously, identify where you are and start addressing these parts of your life you will become unstoppable.
These are the areas I’d like us to examine ourselves in:
Alright, let’s jump in.
Once we figure out which Mode you’re currently operating in then you can get clarity on what to do next.
If you can take a few minutes and become aware of where you are you’ll be able to make the adjustments to grow to a new level in your life.
Here are the 3 modes:
#1: Survival Mode
I believe most people live their entire lives in this mode (in most of the areas I’ve listed above).
Dictionary.com says surviving is:
“continuing to exist; remaining intact.”
What a sucky way to live!
Let me give some description here for ya.
In survival mode one doesn’t have clarity, aim or purpose (intention).
In survival mode one is constantly “treading water”, making ends meet and focused on making the “bills” (doing just enough). If someone isn’t hitting higher highs then they are in survival mode (higher highs is month over month and year over year growth in every area of life).
They are terrified of taking risks — hire a mentor, invest in themselves, put money into advertising. They think the sky could fall on them at any moment, so they’re always “looking over their shoulder”.
Folks in Survival Mode wish everything were easier. Work, family, relationships, money, etc.
This person also is mostly inwardly focused. They’re only concerned about themselves, what they can get, what the world can do for them, what the business associate can provide for them, what the employer can do for them. It’s all about me, me, me. They look to special occasions to fulfill them vs what I’ll explain down below.
They’re entitled and feel like they’re owed something.
Make decisions based out of fear.
Again, this can be all areas listed above or just one.
Ask yourself… do any of the above statements describe you?
Mindset of someone in Survival Mode: Fixed
They’re usually pointing the finger, blaming someone else for their problems. They don’t take responsibility for where they are in their life. They take shortcuts. They think success is by luck and chance.
If you are stuck in your business right now there is a very good chance you have remnants of survival mode.
#2: Thriving Mode
In this mode a person who is thriving: they are “out of the woods” so-to-speak. They are experiencing growth in their finances, emotionally, spiritually, their health and relationships.
Someone in this mode isn’t worried about paying their bills (I mean this literally and figuratively).
- Things are progressing in every area of their lives. It doesn’t mean that challenges don’t exist (actually the opposite). They probably face more challenges but the person who is THRIVING understands the road to greatness ONLY comes through challenges and struggles but now they expect it and are prepared for it.
“Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.”
- They know anything that lasts long isn’t easy and anything that is easy doesn’t last long.
- People who are thriving have big goals. They know what they want and they’re going after it with reckless abandonment.
- They’ve made good money, bought nice things and have momentum in their life and business.
The person who’s in Thriving Mode has hit goal after goal and yet they still have this insatiable hunger for more and more. This is what’s driven them to accomplish great things but as you’ll see below it could also be dangerous.
Mindset of someone in Thrive Mode: Open
They take extreme ownership of ALL their actions and consequences negative or positive. They’re constantly looking at how to improve. They’re always examining their life and looking at how they can step up and be better. They wouldn’t dare to point the finger at someone or something else.
I don’t want to get all preachy. I’ve seen people try to quench this insatiable ambition and hunger with more things and ultimately I’ve seen it tear entrepreneurs apart. Drugs, alcohol, adultery, cheating and scandal. The worst? They end up feeling like a failure. This strength can become a weakness. Unless there’s a shift to Mode 3.
#3: Impact Mode
I believe Impact Mode is the level we should all strive for. I recently heard someone describe the book The Purpose Driven Life and that it can be summed up from one line on the first page.
“It’s not about you.”
Can you imagine being so healthy and abundant in every area of your life that you have the resources and ability to focus on helping other people?
The most fulfillment I’ve gotten in my life is not from having an amazing house or nice cars or luxury travel or a million dollars sitting in my bank account.
Don’t get me wrong. I like having all of the above. Lol.
However, the most fulfillment I get is from helping others. I think it’s the greatest gift you can give and also receive.
I’ve noticed the same thing is true with other successful people.
Service to others. That’s the aim.
Folks in Impact Mode are proactive in using their skills, wealth and abilities to help as many people as they possibly can. They’re aren’t concerned about money. Honestly, they don’t even have to be “rich” in an economic sense. Ultimately, they have to be a healthy person first before being able to help other people for the long term.
Mindset of someone in Impact Mode: Open and Abundant
They’re not worried about losing because they’re so focused on giving — out of their abundance. They are a fountain and a resource, not a drain.
What Mode Are You Operating In?
Be honest. Based on the descriptions above where do you land?
Here are some of the simple adjustments you can make to get better…
Survival – Stop blaming others. Get around people who are better than you. Get some goals for your life and business for the next 90 days to 12 months.
Book suggestions: “The Consultant Next Door” by yours truly and my business partner Taylor Welch (shameless plug), Mindset (by Carol Dweck), Secrets of the Millionaire Mind (T. Harv Eker), Awaken The Giant Within (Tony Robbins)
Thriving – What can you do to make the shift of creating a bigger vision of impact and service to others? Is your mission internal or external? If you find yourself drifting to unhealthy patterns ask yourself – how am I helping others? For example we contribute finances to Anti-Human Trafficking organizations, Orphanages, etc. Also, our Impact Vision for Traffic and Funnels isn’t about the money any more.
The money is just a scoreboard. At this point it’s about helping as many people as we can get to a place where they’re so abundant that we’re reproducing IMPACT MAKING MACHINES.
Entrepreneurs who are so full of life and abundance they want to and can “give back”.
Book suggestions: 80/20 Principle (Richard Koch), Ego is The Enemy (Ryan Holiday), Scaling Up (Verne Harnish)
Impact – Are you making the greatest impact you are capable of? Take that same fire, drive and ambition and turn up the volume. How can you effect more positive change?
- To your clients
- To causes that really hit home with you.
I challenge you to step up and give more. How can you double, triple or quadruple your impact in the next 12 months? Your potential is far greater than where you’re currently operating at! This is a good reminder for me, too.
Book suggestions: Influence (Robert Cialdini), The Bible, The Daily Stoic (Ryan Holiday)
If you take these principles to heart I believe you’ll find more satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment in your life.
[Picking up from the foreclosure story]
I’m going to give you the very abbreviated version:
After I get the date of my scheduled foreclosure I start furiously looking for a rental for the family. Years ago I was in the mortgage business and trying to get a new business off the ground. It was right around the crash in 2008. I didn’t know jack-sh!t about much. I knew how to work extremely hard. And wouldn’t you know it… that failed me.
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how hard you work. If you aren’t pulling the right levers it doesn’t matter. Anyway, doing exactly what my mortgage company told me to do put me in an even worse position – with no sign of recovery.
A week before my foreclosure date I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from some company I had never heard of; they bought my loan from the bank that was going to foreclose on me. They offered me a modification with a LOWER principal and interest payment.
All I had to do was make that new payment on time for the next 3 months.
Of course I thought it was total b.s. So I called that company 3 different times to verify it wasn’t some mistake.
To my shock it was all legit. I made that payment for the 3 months (on time lol) and they modified my mortgage. I was able to keep my house. I feel like it was divine intervention.
Why do I tell you this? I think it’s important for you to know where we’ve come from. Nothing was handed to us. Taylor was basically eating ramen noodles and date nights with Lindsey were Taco Bell.
To Sum It Up
Cars, houses, vacations, money and building an amazing business is all fun and enjoyable. Long lasting fulfillment comes from the journey and helping others achieve what they want.
It comes from the practice of gratitude everyday learning to appreciate the small things in life. I hope for a minute you’ll look past the now, the tactics and strategies and think on these principles and discover the amazing life that’s available for you.
If you like what you read in this book, I go way deeper with my business partner on creating impact through building a business in our latest book, The Consultant Next Door.
In your service,